And I knew that even though my runstreak had only last a couple months, I would still be able to keep up with my running.
The runstreak had served its purposes: Getting my ass out the door and on the roads. And I will be forever grateful for that motivation.
When it was too easy to just say "I'll go running tomorrow" or "Maybe later," the runstreak became my motivation to get started with being consistent again.
So starting January 1st, I started running again on a daily basis.
And it worked great...
For the first few weeks... But soon, it became one more thing I had to fit into my day. And I found myself dreading my runs. Avoiding them. Putting them off until the last minute. And no one really enjoys going for a run on the worst treadmill known to man at 11:45pm in your apartment complex.
And while I kept it going for almost 100 days... 95 days to be exact...
The runstreak was serving to have the opposite impact this time that it did the first time around.
Last time the runstreak motivated me. Gave me something to look forward to. The promise that each day would have at least one mile of me time.
And now? I dreaded it. I hated those runs. I started to hate running. It was no longer a passion, but a chore. No longer a time of relaxation, but a stressful moment, full of pressure and disappointment.
And so Sunday, after finishing Ragnar Trail Atlanta, I thought to myself...
Why? Why am I doing this? Pride? Vanity?
"Oooo! Look at me! I run every day! That makes me a better runner than you."
And the fact of the matter is that it didn't. In fact, my vain attempt to run every day was actually hurting my running. I wasn't allowing my hamstring to heal properly, I was avoiding long runs, and I wasn't putting my heart and soul in to my running.
So the streak is over. Long live the streak.
And here, I promise to re-commit myself to my running. And my promise to myself this time is different.
I promise not run for the quantity of those runs, but for the quality of them.
When I run, it will be because I love running, not because I feel obligated to run.
I will run because it gives me peace and will not let it stress me out.
Because it needs to get back to what I always say at the end of every post.